The “B” Ship
Whether it’s Iraq, or vomit-inducing torture policies, or the faith-based foreign policy disasters in the Middle-East and N. Korea, it seems you can trace the genesis of every bad policy to conservatisms creamy center, the Instigators.
These are the fearful little men that drive our policies as a nation. They are the Yoos and the Perles and the Cheneys and the Kristols of this world – with the Hannitys, Hewitts and O’Reilly’s playing the backup rapper that grunts “uh” and “yeah” and “say what?” in the never-ending Yo! MTV Raps Marathon that is America 2.0.
Conservatism has its Thinkers, like William F. Buckley Jr. and George Will that give the movement an undeserved luster. The Enforcers…(If you’re wearing duct tape on your mouth with the word “Life” emblazoned across the front, that’s you)…will direct their anger and bloodlust wherever they are told. But the instigators are the mediocre middle that holds the whole rancid heap together. They are the middle-managers, the telephone-sanitizers of the conservative movement.
Faced with strikingly similar circumstances, with Armageddon coming and all, Douglas Adams had some sound advice on how to deal with this lot:
“Yes, so anyway,” he resumed, “the idea was that into the first ship, the ‘A’ ship, would go all the brilliant leaders, the scientists, the great artists, you know, all the achievers; and then into the third, or ‘C’ ship, would go all the people who did the actual work, who made things and did things; and then into the ‘B’ ship—that’s us—would go everyone else, the middlemen, you see.”
“And they made sure they sent you lot off first, did they?” inquired Arthur.
“Oh yes,” said the Captain, “well, everyone said, very nicely I thought, that it was very important for morale to feel that they would be arriving on a planet where they could be sure of a good haircut and where the phones were clean.”
“Oh yes,” agreed Ford, “I can see that would be very important. And the other ships, er…they followed on after you did they?”